Wrestlemania 25 Running Diary

Wrestlemania 25, the 25th grandaddy of them all, took place on April 6, 2009. Unfortunately, life and things got in the way of my posting the running diary until now. I watched this years grandaddy at Buffalo Wild Wings, much the same as last year. Though this year, instead of Anfron I was accompanied by my girlfriend at the time "Sleeping Beauty". So I present to you, after much delay, the Wrestlemania 25 Running Diary.

704pm - We arrive at Buffalo Wild Wings in the midst of the Money in the Bank intros. This looks to be an awful Money in the Bank match, as the participants so far consist of Mark Henry, Finlay, MVP, Shelton Benjamin of course, and Kofi Kingston.

711 - CHRISTIAN!!! I didn't even know he was back with WWE.

712 - KANE (note - these notes are almost 8 months old, I have no idea why I chose to write Kane's name in all CAPS)

713 - CM Punk is there as well. He's moved up quite a bit since last year.

714 - I ordered wings about 90 seconds ago and they are already here; so much for the running diary of this match.

733 - I went to Wrestlemania and a Kid Rock concert broke out. He's looking a little like Sawyer from lost. I have no idea why he's performing at Wrestlemania. I haven't heard "Bawitdaba" in years.

737 - Sleeping Beauty refuses to believe Rick is Puerto Rican.
"He's too nice."

739 - Wild Wings is getting restless. Not a lot of Kid Rock fans in the crowd.

742 - Oh, ok. Kid Rock was there to kick off the 25 Diva Battle Royal.

743 - SB tries to compare women's wrestling to women's basketball. (not sure what she was trying to say, I can only assume it had something to do with the inverse correlation between actual athletic ability and physical attractiveness)

744 - Someone's going to pop an implant.

745 - Someone horribly botches a Frankensteiner.

748 - I don't think Mickie James went over the top there.

749 - The match is won by Santino wearing a wig and a dress. They should just have the show be 4 hours of him, he's the most entertaining thing they've got.

752 - Up next is a handicap match featuring Chris Jericho vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka, and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. It was originally supposed to be Jericho vs. Mickey Rourke until Rourke's PR people decided they didn't want him wrestling. Rourke is there anyway. Personally, I'd have rather seen Jericho take on Rourke over three guys old enough to be my father.

755 - I need to stop drinking Jack, I forgot what I was gonna write. Oh yeah, Rourke looks about as thrilled to be there as he was at the opening night of "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man"

759 - Steamboat is the only one of the old guys in good shape and he's been retired for ten years.
The guy next to me refers to Piper as "Rowdy Roddy Paunchy"

802 - Nachos! Surprisingly Steamboat looks like he can still go. Hope he doesn't get any ideas.

807 - BWW erupts into a chorus of boos for Jericho's win.

813 - Rourke and Jericho face off in the ring.
Guy next to me:"Let's see you tame that lion, Jericho". He officially needs to settle down.

814 - The face-off ends with Rourke "knocking Jericho out" with a punch. The lack of Ram Jam only adds to the lameness of this event.

820 - Matt Hardy's entrance music gets a 5 star rating on my iTunes ("Live for the Moment" by Monster Magnet)

823 - Jeff Hardy's body paint makes it look like Grimace jizzed all over his face.

824 - The rare but effective midair steel chair shot to the ass.

825 - Shop vac violence!

830 - The Braves are up 4-0 in the second and Pupino has Brett Myers on his fantasy team. Too bad he's not here watching this.

831 - A very hirsute Dick Enberg and Billy Packer are interviewing a very alive Al McGuire on ESPN Classic.

835 - Jeff Hardy leapfrogs over a huge ladder and hits nothing but ring; Matt responds with a chair assisted twist of fate for the win and more Monster Magnet.

841 - JBL vs. Rey Mysterio; this match is going to be awful.

842 - Rey comes out in a Heath Ledger Joker costume. Really Rey? Really?

845 - SB: "I hate JBL. He needs to work out his core."

846 - A "Benoit @ Summerslam"-esque victory for Rey

849 - JBL would like to say "You're welcome, America." And also, he quits.

851 - I'm so winded.

852 - This HBK vs. Undertaker video is not going to keep me awake.

854 - I forgot how awesome that HBK vs. Kurt Angle match from a few years ago was. So I guess this video is doing its job.

855 - I have a hard time getting excited for a match involving two guys old enough to be my dad.

856 - HBK is being lowered to the ring on a tower.

9pm - Taker's entrance starts; he's coming up from hell (aka beneath the stage). Nice contrast between the two there.

901 - Good Ol' JR is helpful enough to point out what I just wrote to those watching who were unable to grasp what was going on.

903 - Taker finally gets to the ring.

904 - The match gets under way.

906 - HBK goes old school with the DX chop.

907 - Taker gives HBK a wedgie during a press slam.

908 - There is a question on NTN asking what a Berserker was; shitty early 90s wrestler is not one of the answers.

914 - I can't believe I'm 27 years old and the Undertaker is still wrestling.

916 - The two old men pull off an awful wrestling sequence.

917 - HBK misses a moonsault from the top rope to the floor. Ouch. I think he broke a hip.

919 - Taker hits the cameraman with a suicide dive.

921 - It looks like HBK is trying to date rape the ref.

922 - The Undertaker makes it back to the ring at 9 while HBK is tuning up the band.

925 - BWW is riled up for the finish of this match.

928 - HBK kicks out of the tombstone! WTF?!

935 - The Undertaker wins the match by reversing an attempted HBK moonsault into a tombstone. While it was not a great match technically, the crowd got so involved over the last ten minutes that it definitely puts it up there as far as classics go.

938 - Wow, Holyfield is still alive. I wonder if he can even spell HBK at this point.

941 - Why is Vickie Guerrero making out with Big Show? and why is it on television?

945 - A guy at the bar asks who I write for, I am too retarded to respond "Gentlemanly Productions"

946 - An army of Cena clones makes their way out to ringside.

952 - I just ordered chili queso fries; I immediately regret this decision.

955 - I'm not even watching this match. Big letdown after HBK vs. Undertaker.

958 - How long has Michael Cole been here? He must've said three words all night.

10pm - SleepingBeauty thinks Big Show looks like Shrek; I can't really disagree.

1004 - The champ is here!

1005 - Now the champ is in the crowd.

1008 - SleepingBeauty is marking the date of next year's Wrestlemania in her calendar because she wants to go.

1012 - Huge "Kike" sign in the audience during Stone Cold Steve Austin's beerfest

1014 - Stone Cold's celebration may be going on longer than Undertaker's entrance.

1016 - The IT guy from SleepingBeauty's office just sat down next to us. He looks like a creepier, more molesty Taylor Hicks. He then awkwardly tries to hit on Paulina as she rolls her eyes at him. He does not make me proud.

1020 - Apparently in the buildup to the Randy Orton vs. HHH main event, Orton DDTed Stephanie McMahon and then kissed her while HHH was tied up. He then tied her to the train tracks while twirling his mustache.

1023 - Orton's new entrance music sucks. Bring back Mercy Drive!

1029 - The BWW crowd loves HHH.

1030 - Next time someone asks me who I write for I'm making something up.

1032 - RKO out of nowhere. Of course, no pin attempt. Followed by a Pedigree! What the hell is this???

1033 - HHH steals someone's water.

1034 - Former Dallas Maverick Jim Jackson & Dave Revsine are in Detroit for some channel. I'm guessing ESPN Classic.

1035 - JR: "HHH is not a man who makes idle promises." If you say so.

1036 - Dave Revsine only has to wear one goggle when he goes swimming in HIS POOL! It was Big Ten Network for anyone interested.

1041 - This match is soooo boring.

1044 - Very nice dropkick by Orton.

1046 - A guy behind me randomly yells out "Spanish announce table!!" I'm not the only one getting a little punchy here.

1049 - I'm running out of pages in my notebook. This match better end soon.

1054 - HHH wins; weak ending.

Since as I mentioned above, we're now several months removed from the event, nothing really sticks out as memorable aside from the Undertaker/Shawn Michaels match. Which I guess speaks volumes about the event itself. A sad display for year 25. Maybe I'm just getting too old for this shit. I guess we'll find out next April.