For several months, Dmo and I had been anticipated the arrival of a Buffalo Wild Wings franchise at the Palisades Mall. Dmo had been to several and regaled me with stores of numerous beers on tap, and endless nights of NTN trivia, not to mention 18 different flavors of wing. Needless to say, I was enthralled when I heard the news that it would be opening in the mall, and my friend Jen would be working there. Thanks to her insider information, I was turned on to the fact that the first 100 customers would be on the receiving end of free wings for a year. I had planned on getting there at about 10am on opening day, Sunday October 7, 2007, until I talked to her at 9pm the night before, at which point she informed me I'd better get there early. Upon relaying the news to Dmo, he claims he'll be getting there at 7am. I am highly skeptical about this, but nonetheless set my alarm for 7.
651AM - Dmo calls - false alarm {Ed. note: I no longer remember what this was in reference to. Expect a lot of those.}
707 - Dmo calls; he is already at the mall.
709 - I inadvertantly stab myself with the pen trying to write the previous entry; its too fucking early.
810 - Finally depart my house.
820 - Call Dmo from the deli to see if he wants anything. He asks for a copy of the Post and reports that he is one of ten people there.
837 - Arrive at Buffalo Wild Wings to find Dmo nowhere in sight.
838 - Dmo emerges from Evelyn's anus (aka the pisser)
843 - Three nerdy emo guys show up with the board game Risk and a sign up sheet. Good thing someone came prepared.
844 - Some asian guy opens up the gate & gets cheers and applause; one of the nerdy emo kids mentions Ric Flair, so we start talking to them. It turns out the head emo kid works at Hot Topic and they all came here last night at 11pm to wait on line. Once they realized they were the only ones here they decided to leave and come back this morning. They then invite us to partake in their game of Risk.
850 - We give up on Risk after realizing that no one knows how to play.
854 - Dmo was smart enough to bring a pack of cards so we decide to introduce the emo kids to Korean Rummy.
858 - A hot chick shows up with a guy in a Tom Brady jersey. He's so handsome his jersey alone can get chicks.
913 - After attempting to buy a Tom Brady jersey, Dmo and I decide to call Sars and see what he is up to. Since the answer is "nothing" he decides to join us on line.
707 - Dmo calls; he is already at the mall.
709 - I inadvertantly stab myself with the pen trying to write the previous entry; its too fucking early.
810 - Finally depart my house.
820 - Call Dmo from the deli to see if he wants anything. He asks for a copy of the Post and reports that he is one of ten people there.
837 - Arrive at Buffalo Wild Wings to find Dmo nowhere in sight.
838 - Dmo emerges from Evelyn's anus (aka the pisser)
843 - Three nerdy emo guys show up with the board game Risk and a sign up sheet. Good thing someone came prepared.
844 - Some asian guy opens up the gate & gets cheers and applause; one of the nerdy emo kids mentions Ric Flair, so we start talking to them. It turns out the head emo kid works at Hot Topic and they all came here last night at 11pm to wait on line. Once they realized they were the only ones here they decided to leave and come back this morning. They then invite us to partake in their game of Risk.
850 - We give up on Risk after realizing that no one knows how to play.
854 - Dmo was smart enough to bring a pack of cards so we decide to introduce the emo kids to Korean Rummy.
858 - A hot chick shows up with a guy in a Tom Brady jersey. He's so handsome his jersey alone can get chicks.
913 - After attempting to buy a Tom Brady jersey, Dmo and I decide to call Sars and see what he is up to. Since the answer is "nothing" he decides to join us on line.
926 - Rutgers is the birthplace of college football, and also the alma mater of 2 of the emo kids.
939 - Sars arrives, out of breath from sprinting to get here after Dmo and I told him there were already 95 people on line.
Sars:"You guys are fucking assholes"
No one disagrees.
1015 - A whole lot of nothing has been going on; one of the emo kids mentions this is the stupidest thing he's ever done. For me its not even close.
1018 - After a trip to Dunkin' Donuts to get coffee for himself and a strawberry frosted donut for me, Sars makes the rookie mistake of bringing back a sprinkle covered donut. I reluctantly choke it down.
1030 - The line forms outside the gate. Everyone pretty much stays in the order of their arrival.
1047 - A tiny waitress freaks out at the line: "OHMYGOD how are we going to serve all these people??"
1119 - A fat guy in a Shockey jersey standing in line in front of us keeps talking about going to Stiletto's after the games are over.
1125 - While consulting the running diary for our arrival time, Fat Shockey notices and says "I farted. You can write that down in there."
1129 - Fat Shockey farts again, claims he "once McAllistered in a strip club".
1132 - A giant buffalo comes out and dances for the crowd.
1137 - Fat Shockey: "The buffalo touched me." Somewhere in the distance, Chris Hanson readies a plate of cookies.
1149 - Slow clap breaks out; BWW staff bursts into cheers.
1201 - The gate opens and we take seats at the bar so we can get served on by Tiki. Dmo gets the first beer in the history of BWW - West Nyack.
1208 - This is gonna get sloppy. Tiki Barber's real name is Paulina; she's Eastern European and speaks a heavily accented English, thus making her even hotter.
1210 - Dmo gets the first wings in the history of BWW - West Nyack.
1243 - In regards to the thick bartender, one of us comments: "She's no Tiki Barber. She's more of a Brandon Jacobs." ("one of us" = me)
At some point between the previous entry and the next entry, Rick and Tara arrived and Rick took over the writing of the running diary, as it was obvious I would soon be in no shape to do so. Please to enjoy.
1255 - For the second time we are featured in The Crawl.
105 - BWW first week jitters. {No idea what this is in reference to. Possibly the poor TV management, possibly the piss poor service which still persists to this day if you are sitting anywhere besides the bar.}
107 - BWW is in an uproar as TVs are completely retarded.
110 - Ostrowe spent two years banging Caroline in the bathroom so he could watch the Panthers with ease. Now he is standing trying to get the Panthers on TV with no success.
112 - Brian Dawkins vs. Tiki Barber is an excellent matchup {Personally I think Tiki wins hands down}
119 - We split up as there is not enough room at the bar for everyone.
125 - No Panthers still. What the fuck is this??? Ostrowe is walking around futilely.
130 - The manager is avoiding Ostrowe.
135 - Dmo is Evelyn! {I have no idea what this means.}
137 - A Dolphins player (Trent Green) gets taken off on a stretcher, which leads to a Mike Utley/Dennis Byrd talk with the guy next to me. He was at the Dennis Byrd game. I don't have the heart to tell him I was in Kindergarten at the time.
139 - The waitress hates us because we don't order anything.
147 - Ostrowe left the bar ten minutes ago to watch the Panthers and now the Panthers are on three TVs.
152 - Moro gets the sampler.
2pm - I hate people like Lauren who put their name on the jersey. And don't put your first name on it.
Upside down writing courtesy of Tara: "Tom Brady neebs B haircut <3 Tara"
Ostrowe text:"David Car (sic) sucks"
207 - Seats open at the bar and we sprint there with Moro's food.
209 - The bartender asks us if we need anything. Since there is a Pizza Hut commercial on I ask her for Pizza Hut. She is not amused. {Rick is a gentleman}
215 - Some workers have capital letter names, some have lowercase, symptomatic of the overall confusion permeating the BWW staff. GENNET screams her name at everyone.
217 - The Panthers are playing good defense.
220 - Why was Terry here at 7am? He was just getting to bed.
227 - Sars tells Tiki she is beautiful in Polish.
230 - Eli 3/10 22 yards 0.0 rating {Ladies and gentlemen, your Super Bowl XLII MVP!!!}
232 - Tara is the Captain of the basketball team. Moro therefore must be a gentleman and pay for her drink.
235 - Sars continues to flirt in Poland {I think he meant "Polish"}
237 - Ostrowe tries to call me but noisy bar to noisy bar does not make for a very clear conversation. He walks over to tell me to order a Bacon Cheddar Burger on Sars' tab.
240 - Sars asks the waitress if she has a kid so they can go see the Spongebob Squarepants movie
242 - Sars is getting his Polish information for his flirtation from his friend Julie via text
245 - Ostrowe walks away from the bar with a pint of Cherry Wheat in his pocket.
247 - Sars asks Tiki, "Do you have a boyfriend?" She answers yes :(
3pm - Sars is trying to figure out how to say "If you get pregnant I'll pay for the abortion."
301 - Moro takes a bite of his Mild Wings and they turn out to be Wild. That'll get the sand out of your vagina. This quickly becomes a Moro-ism along the lines of "Beep Bop Boop Bip"
303 - Moro is calling Evelyn as usual. "Well, well, well Mr. Mohr." {Quote not attributed to anyone, nor is context mentioned}
310 - Tara wants to be the CEO of the Pats so she can call Tom Brady to her "office"
321 - Rick kills a potato wedge.
335 - I got distracted and I don't remember what I was going to write.
340 - Steve Smith scores a TD and across the bar Ostrowe stands up and cheers
346 - Moro:"I'm a matchup genius!"
Sars:"No you're not, you are retarded. How are you undefeated!"
350 - INT Carolina. Ostrowe is ecstatic.
356 - Bartender needs a Richard
4pm - Our tab is falling over.
"The Jets don't befuddle but they confound" - Dick Enberg
402 - Sars goes to the bathroom and we try to run away.
404 - Kris Brown kicks a 57 yard FG with :01 seconds left to win the game.
408 - John Kasay kicks a game winning FG for Carolina. Ostrowe runs around the bar high fiving people.
Moro is a worthless slut. {Actually what I said was "worthless slug"}
The bartender asks if we have change of a $20, Sars hands her a wad of cash.
Everyone is sauced.
Ostrowe writes "Moro is a worthless slug" on the bill along with his (Moro's) phone number.
In the months since, BWW has become a routine destination for the Chain of Gentleman and associates. Thanks to its outstanding happy hour specials, selection of fine beverages, multitude of televisions and tittilating waitstaff, it has replaced Chili's and D&B's as the location of choice for mall boozing. It will undoubtedly be the site of many more running diaries to come. And since we were there when it opened, it will always hold a place in the hearts of gentlemen.
402 - Sars goes to the bathroom and we try to run away.
404 - Kris Brown kicks a 57 yard FG with :01 seconds left to win the game.
408 - John Kasay kicks a game winning FG for Carolina. Ostrowe runs around the bar high fiving people.
Moro is a worthless slut. {Actually what I said was "worthless slug"}
The bartender asks if we have change of a $20, Sars hands her a wad of cash.
Everyone is sauced.
Ostrowe writes "Moro is a worthless slug" on the bill along with his (Moro's) phone number.
In the months since, BWW has become a routine destination for the Chain of Gentleman and associates. Thanks to its outstanding happy hour specials, selection of fine beverages, multitude of televisions and tittilating waitstaff, it has replaced Chili's and D&B's as the location of choice for mall boozing. It will undoubtedly be the site of many more running diaries to come. And since we were there when it opened, it will always hold a place in the hearts of gentlemen.
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